On Thursday night, late night-hosts celebrated Kristi Noem’s firing, criticized Maga’s handling of the war in Iran and raised an eyebrow to Robert F Kennedy Jr taking issue with sugary Starbucks drinks.
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert immediately brought up Kristi Noem’s firing in his monologue, saying that the former homeland secretary brought it on herself by “standing too close to that gravel pit”.
The host then turned serious. “Before we get any more information about what happened, I just want to say with absolute certainty: she is a domestic terrorist who deserves to go to Gitmo.”
On Truth Social, Donald Trump announced that Noem would be moved to a new role as “special envoy for the Shield of the Americas, our new security initiative in the western hemisphere”.
“Sounds like someone’s about to become the Fifa secretary of homeland security,” the host joked.
As reported by Semafor, one White House insider reacted to the news of Noem’s departure by simply saying “hallelujah”.
“It’s a bit of a tell when your co-workers celebrate your firing,” added Colbert.
“If she’s remembered for anything, it’s what a catastrophe ICE is under her leadership. They’re undisciplined, they’re violent, they’re ill-trained, and we’re learning how they got that way,” said Colbert, bringing up a recent report of immigration agents being poorly trained and prepared.
The host found gallows humor in reports that ICE agents keep accidentally shooting themselves. “I’m not going to laugh at it,” Colbert said. “Instead, I’ll laugh at this.” He then played a clip of an immigration officer slipping and falling over on an icy street.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Meyers focused on Trump’s “cabinet in turmoil” in the wake of firing of Noem.
“Where is she going to get the money for all her wonderful costumes?” asked Meyers, flashing up photographs of Noem dressed as a firefighter, a police officer and a soldier. “We were only months away from her showing up as both leads in Wicked.” Meyers then turned his attention to reports that the department of justice withheld and removed some Epstein files that related to Trump.
“It’s so classically Trump to only hide files that mention him. I’m sure someone said, ‘We could hide something about Bill Clinton so it all looks less obvious. And he was like, ‘No, keep those in, make copies. Oh, this is gonna be good; I am never going to reap what I sow.’”
Meyers then joked about Trump downplaying the rise of US gas prices amid the Iran war. “‘A little high for a little while?’” Meyers asked, quoting the president’s remarks. “He’s turned into an Italian maitre d’ who won’t give me a straight answer on when my table’s gonna be ready.”
“High gas prices are particularly bad for this show, because aside from ER waiting rooms, our biggest source of eyeballs is gas station TV,” Meyers deadpanned.
He then went on to comment on Maga’s incoherent justifications for the Iran war. “It doesn’t surprise me that Trump can’t remember the justification for war with Iran, since he can’t even remember where his own father is from,” Meyers noted, before playing a clip of Trump telling the German chancellor, Friedrich Merz, that his father was from Germany.
“Quick factcheck,” added Meyers. “Trump’s dad was born in the Bronx.”
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host also led with news of Noem’s firing, comparing it to Game of Thrones’ red wedding.
Kimmel poked fun new Noem’s appointment as special envoy for the Shield of the Americas, saying: “I think I speak for all of us when I say we wish her well in her brand new, completely made up job.”
“The funniest thing would be if they deport her to El Salvador,” he added.
Noem is set to be replaced by Senator Markwayne Mullin, a former MMA fighter and plumber. “According to White House staffers, Trump loves watching him on TV,” Kimmel said. “And I agree. I love watching him on TV too – in the same way I loved watching Honey Boo Boo on TV.”
The host then wondered aloud if Noem’s departure was a sign of more firings to come. “Who will be next? There are so many deserving candidates: Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, Bobby Kennedy … Maybe at the top of the list, the actor pretending to be our secretary of war,” Kimmel said in reference to Pete Hegseth.
A recent Fox News poll found that 51% of US voters felt the country is less safe in the wake of Trump’s handling of Iran. In reaction to the president’s comments that he should have a role in choosing the Middle Eastern nation’s next Ayatollah, Kimmel asked: “Why not make it a TV show? I don’t know for certain, but I have a feeling that Iranians would love Meatloaf running the country.”
Kimmel then turned to RFK Jr questioning the healthiness of high calorie coffee drinks. “Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks, show us the safety data that shows that it’s okay for a teenage girl to drink an iced coffee with 115 grams of sugar in it,” the health secretary recently said.
“All of a sudden, the Trump administration is interested in the safety of teenage girls,” the host added witheringly. “How about that?”
